Conversation between President George W. Bush and US

National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice when Hu

Jinato was elected Communist Party chief recently:



President George W. Bush: Condi! Nice to see you.

What's happening? National Security Advisor Condoleeza

Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader

of China.



Bush: Great. Lay it on me.



Rice: Hu is the new leader of China.



Bush: That's what I want to know.



Rice: That's what I'm telling you.



Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new

leader of China?



Rice: Yes.



Bush: I mean the fellow's name.



Rice: Hu.



Bush: The guy in China.



Rice: Hu.



Bush: The new leader of China.



Rice: Hu.



Bush: The Chinaman!



Rice: Hu is leading China.



Bush: Now whaddya asking me for?



Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.



Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?



Rice: That's the mans name.



Bush: That's who's name?



Rice: Yes.



Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the

new leader of China?



Rice: Yes, sir.



Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he

was in the Middle East.



Rice: That's correct.



Bush: Then who is in China?



Rice: Yes, sir.



Bush: Yassir is in China?



Rice: No, sir.



Bush: Then who is?



Rice: Yes, sir.



Bush: Yassir?



Rice: No, sir.



Bush: Look, Rice. I need to know the name of the new

leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the

U.N. on the phone.



Rice: Kofi?



Bush: No, thanks.



Rice: You want Kofi?



Bush: No.



Rice: You don't want Kofi.



Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a

glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.



Rice: Yes, sir.



Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.



Rice: Kofi?



Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?



Rice: And call who?



Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?



Rice: Hu is the guy in China.



Bush: Will you stay out of China?!



Rice: Yes, sir.



Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the

guy at the U.N.



Rice: Kofi.



Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars.



Now get on the phone.



(Rice picks up the phone.)



Rice: Rice, here.



Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.

Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the

Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle



_____________________________________________



President Bush is hanging out with the Queen of England. He asks

her,

"How do you run an efficient government? Any tips you can give me?"



And the queen says "Well, the most important thing is to surround

yourself with intelligent people." Bush frowns, and replies, "Well,

how do I

know the people around me are really intelligent or not?"



The queen takes a little sip of tea, and says, "Oh, that"s easy. You

just ask them a riddle."

Then the queen pushes the button on her intercom and says "Please

send Tony Blair in here, would you?" So Tony Blair

walks into the room. "Yes, my queen?" The queen smiles at Tony and

says, "Tony, answer me this, would you? Your mother and father have

a child.

It"s not your brother, and it"s not your sister. Who is it?"

Without missing a beat, Tony Blair says, "Well, that would be me."

The queen smiles and says, "Very good, thank you!"



So, back at the White House, Bush is a bit puzzled. So, he asks to

speak with Dick Cheney. "Hey Dick, answer this for me, would ya?

Your

mother and your father have a child. It"s not your brother and it"s

not your sister... who is it?"



Dick Cheney frowns and says "Geez, I"m not sure... lemme get back to

you." So, Dick Cheney goes to all his advisors, and asks everyone he

can, but no one can answer it for him. Finally, he ends up in the

men"s room, and he recognises Colin Powell"s shoes in the next stall

over.

So Dick shouts over to him, "Hey Colin... can you answer this for

me? Your mother and your father have a child, and it"s not your

brother, or your sister.

Who is it?"



Colin Powel flushes, and yells back, "Hey, that"s easy... it"s me.

Dick Cheney smiles and yells "Thanks!" So, Dick Cheney goes back

into

the Oval Office and tells Bush, "Hey, I finally figured out the

answer to that riddle! It"s Colin Powell!"



Bush gets up, and angrily stomps over to Dick Cheney. Bush gets

right in Dick"s face and yells, "No you idiot! It"s Tony Blair!"